a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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