There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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