I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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