I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
