Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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