what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize