I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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