Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
