I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
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I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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