those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
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