Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
