u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
