I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
