Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
