I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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