i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
