I'm going to jail i love you
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Randomize
