toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
My bed smells like the plague
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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