Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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