sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
