I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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