ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
it's like iHOP with fire
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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