i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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