yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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