Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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