is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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