I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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