so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
