Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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