Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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