i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
