i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize