well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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