Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
