There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Four minutes until I can fart!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
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