her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
