If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
