Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
