K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Randomize
