If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
home. puking in laundry basket.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
