saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize