I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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