i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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