Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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