I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I AM VODKA MAN
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
