I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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