I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize