I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
