Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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