I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
