no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
