i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
