Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
