what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
