You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
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